Saturday, May 08, 2004
China warns monkeys not to institutionalize unrest
The Chinese Ministry of Primates has made public an internal report alerting the government of restlessness among monkeys in several key provinces. The document recommends surveillance of monkeys in an unnamed province who are suspected of having separationist tendencies, promoting democracy and engaging in sex parties in obscure chambers of official buildings.
The monkeys have been publicizing unauthorized primate-abuse statements in foreign newspapers such as this from SIFY News (India)
The Year of the Monkey, which began [in January 2004], has brought misery to monkeys in China's zoos, which are forcing the animals to give more performances than usual due to their increasing popularity, state media said Monday.
The Australian carried this story. The Ministry warned that the peaceful policy will not last if this unpatriotic activity continues.
Chinese farmers battle marauding monkeysThe government hinted at even more creative solutions to China's serious rural unemployment problem if the monkeys continue on "this dangerous course."
Mainer, New Yawka, Beijinger, Californian, points between. News, views and ballyhoos that piqued my interest and caused me to sigh, cry, chuckle, groan or throw something.
Previous PostsLegendary publisher of "The Oracle" dies
Laundry Label Calling President an 'Idiot' a Hit
Happy Labor Day to all readers in Russia and China
This is crap
Getcha Beat Bush Bumpa Stickas Here
Jump! say motorists to suicide jumper tieing up tr...
Words to Gnash On
Wife of Taiwan Interior Minister Purse-Snatched
Spring in Beijing
A plaintive Chinese voice for ethics in journalism
Terror Alert Status
This Modern World
The Peking Duck
The Talent Show
Angry Chinese Blogger
Angry Chinese Blogger mirror
Open Letters to GWB
Web GizmoTechnorati Profile
The text of this work is licensed under a Creative Commons License, except those items which are cited, which belong to their original copyright holders. The photos and cartoons belong to their original copyright holders.