Crackpot Chronicles

Tis the Season to be nekkid, wot?

Nude Man Pulled From Chimney on Christmas
Fri Dec 26,10:09 AM ET - AP

MINNEAPOLIS - A naked man got stuck in the chimney of a bookstore early Christmas morning. Don't worry, it wasn't Santa Claus.

The 34-year-old man was treated Thursday for bruises and abrasions at Hennepin County Medical Center after being found naked and lodged in the furnace flue at Uncle Hugo's Bookstore. He was expected to be charged with attempted burglary on Friday.

"He was lucky," said police Lt. Mike Sauro. "He was only stuck in that chimney for a few hours. It's kind of a happy ending, because if he had been in there until that store opened Friday morning, it's my judgment he would have died.

"He doesn't appear to be a hard-core criminal, just stupid."

Police suspect that the man was drunk when he climbed atop the one-story building and removed all his clothes to help squeeze into the chimney. He then started to slide down the 12-by-12-inch chimney shaft, Sauro said.

"He's not Santa Claus," Sauro said. "He's a really skinny guy. And he's lucky he didn't get cooked."

The man told police that he entered the chimney about 1 a.m. Thursday to retrieve keys he accidentally dropped down the shaft.

A passer-by called police around 9 a.m. Thursday, after hearing screams for help coming from inside the store. Firefighters broke into the chimney with sledgehammers and freed the man.

"The store is pretty well torn up," said owner Don Blyly, who came in Thursday to hang up signs for a sale to begin Friday. "This is not what I came in here for today, but that's what I have to deal with."