* 50 Ways to Live in China *

Eat with your chops Dicks
Get there the hard Wei
Smile at wrong Anns Sirs
And don't act surprised

Test 'fore you buy Guy
Check out the seams Jeans
Don't get overcharged Lars
Just bargain it hard

Don't talk about Tai Juan
Or even Hong Kong
Or floating the yuan Ben
Just trust in the gov

Don't mention that La Ma
That's going too far Pa
The internet's blocked Pop
It's for your own good

Its not a Ro Lex
And it's not Chanel, Belle
Knockoffs are cool Jules
Dig those DVDs

So much TV Ji
But not much to see Lee
Its like that at home Joan
So just don't complain

They all study English
Not many can speak it
How can that be, Bea
They all passed the tests

Crowd on the bus, Gus
And don't make a fuss, Gus
There's always the train, Jane
So travel in style

Don't bother to whine Don
When you're cut off in line John
When hailing a cab Babs
Be quick on the grab

Get ready to wait Nate
Don't lose someone's face Grace
Be patient and kind Bryan
Don't pay any mind

Go climb the Great Wall Paul
Cruise Tiananmen Square Claire
Have a beer in Shanghai Guy
Take in all the sights

Don't drink the water
You'll get Mao's revenge, Ann
Immodium's vital
Keep plenty on hand

50 ways to live in China
Some are yours and some are mynah
Enjoy all the red Ned
And you'll be well fed!

by Ellen Sander
Happy National Day Holiday